THE CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED.
There have not been many entries in the food limerick contest this year. Remember, the first prize is a $75.00 gift certificate from Accanto and a $25.00 gift certificate from Bruce Bauer over at Vino Buys. Second prize $25.00 gift certificate to Story Teller Wine Company, and third prize is a $20 gift certificate to Laughing Planet Cafe.
It doesn’t take long, just a bit of effort. Here are three I came up with in the shower this morning:
It may come as no surprise,
when you ‘cue you’ll get smoke in your eyes.
I’ve tried a hair blower,
but the flames just burned lower,
and I now have raw chicken with fries
I once knew a writer named Gerdy,
When she wrote, her reviews were quite wordy.
When it came to good food,
she snarled with a ‘tude,
And was stabbed by a chef before thirty
A chef, once had it made,
With his cooking he’d often get laid
Then his cupboards went bare,
and the girls fled the lair,
now it’s all he can do to get paid
Now surely you can do better than mine!
Sandwich, o sandwich, it’s clear
You’re the darlingest food of the year
Torta, steak or bahn mi
Meat Cheese Bread’s BLB
In my gullet you’ll soon disappear
Lest you think that my bread song is done
I assure you we’ve only begun
First stop egg, bacon, toast
Course two: tender beef roast
With a moon pie that’s second to none
Still hungry? then skip the salami
For Ken and Zuke’s tender pastrami
Vaya torta and ‘cue
And this Döner’s for you
Sound the sirens for sando tsunami!
Haha…sando tsunami…the best five syllables I’ve read all day!
Paley’s, Andina and Toro Bravo
Their food is perfect to taste or to show
But if there was one thing missing
From all of their dishing
It would be cooking their cuisines on an Evo
I find it hard not to be jaded
with portions that don’t leave me sated
I am not quite a stick
but I like my steaks thick
feed my face and you’ll find me elated
After spending my days in the field,
My kitchen bears a generous yield
Friends gather round,
A glass of wine downed
Oh food my soul you have healed.
Been living in Portland a year
And my waist has got bigger, I fear
Too many places to eat
Great food savory and sweet
Must be time for a diet, oh dear!
de Sade said, “Now don’t think me rude,
But I’ve multiple uses for food.
And eating is merely,”
He sniffed cavalierly,
“The only one seldom done nude.”
ROFL. A trifle light in culinary content as such, but this is one of the very few in the present cycle that’s actually made me laugh out loud. (And it scans!)
Burgers and pizza were her fast food persuasion.
Dissatisfied, a friend suggested ‘…try Mexican, Asian,…’
Now tortillas and rice
replace the usual fries
And she frequents Chipotle and Panda Express on occasion.
Maybe if I wrote ‘Taco Bell’ instead of ‘Chipotle’, I’d have had a chance, huh?
When I woke up in bed with the corn,
Did you notice if the lettuce was torn,
In a peppery sauce
That needs a good toss
I’m a salad tomato forlorn.
I stare down the warm diners inside
While my time in this line I must bide
They smugly eat calamari
While I’m out here feeling sorry
Oh how I crave something fried!
My financial situation’s so dour
I can only afford happy hour
Though there’s no cassoulet
For eight bucks a day
I’ll have a cheese plate and 3 whiskey sours
Now when you walk down my street
There’s a million places to eat
Six cafes and twelve pubs
Nine carts and a club
But my garden is equally sweet
Last night I awoke with a start
Jumped out of bed then ran for the carts
After filling my face
I said in disgrace
It’s not like I don’t like to fart
Every morning I start with a latte
Though on weekends it begins with a breve
One has more cream
The other a dream
But in the end as is said they’re just coffee
I’m sucking on a pickled mango
My tongue is doing the tango
I will no longer gloat
It feels like my throat
Got ran over by a Dodge Durango
New England or Manhattan?
Like silk and like satin
My man likes his chowder
To match with his powder
And his shoes, which are black leather patents