VOTING IS NOW CLOSED. SEE THE WINNERS BELOW (in bold). Winners see the comments for instructions.
There were so many great entries this year, the judges had a difficult time picking their top favorites! Unfortunately, not everyone can win, so we’ve narrowed it down to the top eleven.
Now it is your turn to vote for your three favorites! You will see the poll on the right side of this page
Where to find the best chowder, my brothers?
Well, there’s Mo’s and there’s Jake’s, and some others,
But the one I recall
As the best of them all
I can’t get any more — my grandmother’s.
They all used to think me a yokel
Dumb redneck; sometimes they were vocal
They thought me a fool
But now think I’m cool
I’ve spent my whole life eating local
1st Prize:
“Do you enjoy food more than sex?”,
My girlfriend inquires, perplexed.
She started to cry,
As I rushed to reply,
“I would if it weren’t for the check.”
2nd Prize:
Said the Burgerville fan from Yoncalla,
“The One Ring is the sweet Walla Walla.
The Vidalia? Too light.
Foreign Mayas? Not right.
Walla-Squared is the Onion Valhalla.”
there once was a lass in Northeast
who’s diet was pork and roast beast
one day on the scale
she screamed out a wail
“Green veggies must be my new feast!”
Down Under they eat Vegemite,
The first time it gave me a fright.
Lord! What a smell,
But to hear Aussies tell,
With practice ’twill be a delight.
Old flatulent Major Carew
ate a volatile Indian stew,
five beers and a curry,
some beans in a hurry,
some franks and some pickles, some….PHEWWW!!!
My quaffing an Aussie shiraz
is cause for haute winos to razz.
Syrah is the plonk
for a pretentious wonk
who probably listens to jazz.
It’s been said that we eat with our eyes.
Not a stretch if you look at my thighs.
If it’s true, I’m in trouble,
’cause my eyes seeing double,
just ate up two orders of fries!
3rd Prize:
de Sade said, “Now don’t think me rude,
But I’ve multiple uses for food.
And eating is merely,”
He sniffed cavalierly,
“The only one seldom done nude.”
It was bacon last year that was shining
as a showcased component of dining.
Now the tables have turned,
and the the pigs have just learned,
though we loved it before, we’re now whining.
Been living in Portland a year
And my waist has got bigger, I fear
Too many places to eat
Great food savory and sweet
Must be time for a diet, oh dear!
Thanks to our sponsors!
Two observations:
There are twelve checkboxes in the poll, but only eleven limericks in the text; the “bacon last year” verse appears to have been porked
And in a much more trivial but amusing vein, the instructions above the poll itself say we can vote for up to three haikus.
Doh!
The winners:
“Do you enjoy food more than sex?”,
My girlfriend inquires, perplexed.
She started to cry,
As I rushed to reply,
“I would if it weren’t for the check.”
Said the Burgerville fan from Yoncalla,
“The One Ring is the sweet Walla Walla.
The Vidalia? Too light.
Foreign Mayas? Not right.
Walla-Squared is the Onion Valhalla.”
de Sade said, “Now don’t think me rude,
But I’ve multiple uses for food.
And eating is merely,”
He sniffed cavalierly,
“The only one seldom done nude.”
Please email me, and I will arrange for you to get your gift certificates. Also, if the 3rd place winner is interested, the second place winner would like to swap his bottle of wine for your Laughing Planet Cafe certificate, as he doesn’t drink.